Children often hear these cuss words from us while we are busy in conversation. The child might also pick a word from school friends, at daycare or an elder sibling may utter it. Whatever be the reason, it’s important that we avoid using these degrading words. We need to mold our innocent children into better adults for their future. Even though you might feel embarrassed while he is using these words, as a parent, you need to explain him about the side effects of using it. Following tips should provide help to a distressed parent:
An integral part in solving this issue is diverting the anger in a positive way. Anger leashes out the negative emotions, ideas and ill thoughts which exhaust a person mentally and physically. Anger causes tension and does not promote healthy lifestyle. In order to reduce your child’s anger, it’s important to help him recall a happy memory or crack joke about the matter. The best thing suggested by psychologists to reduce anger is count numbers till you feel normal. Being angry is not a solution to a problem but solving it amicably is a better way. The more you start to take matters lightly the happier you will feel. It’s necessary that in such tight situations, as a parent you remain calm which will help you tackle this problem.
One thing is for sure you cannot control or change his willingness to use the language immediately. Many parents fail to understand this and it results in stubbornness on child’s part to use such language. As a parent, you need to be his friend as well as his teacher who should explain about the consequences of using such irrational language. Also, explain to your child that using these derogatory words will not help him earn favors from his friends but will make him earn negative reputation.
Whenever your child uses these words, try not to reprimand him in public but talk to him about it once things have cooled down. In malls, I have seen parents getting angry at children in front of general public. This approach doesn’t help the children but it strengthens their resolution to use it more and this makes them feel that they have settled the score with you. In fact, when matters have settled down talk to your child and get to know the problem. Many a time, I have seen children getting angry when parents don’t buy their favorite things but if you have heart to heart talk about this matter, then I am sure your child would not only understand but also he will appreciate your trust in him.
Do not Complain
Children hate when they hear their parents complain about their behavior to grandparents or relatives. It’s better to talk about this matter privately and explain to your relatives to not to speak to kids about this matter directly but explain it to them indirectly. This way, your child will learn to use good language and will respect you for not disclosing their bad behavior to others. Do tell them that while they curse it makes you feel sad and hurt. It also makes other people question about their family values and the culture which they are exposed to.
Reward for a Good Behavior
Establishing house rules for not using the foul language can actually bring in a lot of positive changes in your kid. Your child will certainly be tempted if there are perks attached to maintaining a good behavior like taking him to parks or praising him in front of your friends. Also, if anyone fails the rule then make it a point to punish that person either by giving out silent treatment or making the person do extra house chore. The rule should be followed by everyone and honestly, then only it will be a success. An innovative way to award good behavior is to prepare a chart and stick it on the refrigerator.
Not a Follower
This point I wanted to emphasize because I feel sometimes parents tend to give in, either because children cry or they are too stubborn. I remember one of my relatives doing the same thing. Every time the boy threw a tantrum his mother used to shield him and ignore his behavior. This further created problems when he grew up as he carried on the same behavior with curse words, of course, and it resulted in people refusing to talk to him. From this incident, one thing is obvious – parents might tolerate a child’s ill behavior but others won’t. So parents – don’t tolerate but stick to your rules. Even if it means you might be a temporary enemy of the child but later on, he will understand the significance and will thank you for not being a follower.
Even though swear words are going to be used by all of us, it’s important to exercise self control. It is only then that our children will accept us as good role models. In the end, I remember one famous quote by Benjamin Franklin about bad habits “Your net worth to the world is usually determined by what remains after your bad habits are subtracted from the good ones”.