Ideally, a married woman wants to live happily ever after with her husband. But life doesn’t always play out the way you want. Sometimes that happily ever after ending doesn’t always work out as planned. You need to adapt and move forward. Sometimes a separation is the best thing for everybody. Most adults can deal with it, but if there are kids involved, things could get complicated.
Kids get affected by the separation of parents the most. Kids suffer the most especially if they are still young. Psychologically, this might not be immediately evident but most often than not they are manifested in negative ways. Much of the health problems that affect kids from broken homes are related to mental and psychological health. Frequent headaches are one of the problems that affect my eldest child. During my first attempt to leave my abusive husband, she was in and out of the hospital and doctors cannot identify the problem of her illness. I did not realize that emotional childhood problems are a major cause of headaches. The unhappiness that she felt causes this headache. The very reason why I attempted to mend my family. But living together with my husband again is like living in hell. History repeats itself. Until such time that I finally decided, that my kids are better off without their father in the long-term.
Their father verbally, mentally and emotionally abuses not only them but me also. He keeps on yelling at us, calling us hurtful names, and turning our kids against themselves by telling them that I love one of them more than the other. The psychological damage from emotional/verbal abuse can be lifelong, so, I decided to raise my kids as a single mother. I believe that they will not be doomed because of this situation. As a matter of fact, they achieve better in school than when the times that their father was around.
In cases where the father has an aggressive and verbally abusive tendency, his absence means that kids are away from chaos, anger, pain, and disruption he would bring to his family. Although it is optimal to have two parents who love and nurture their children, as mothers, we should fill the lives of our children with love and support. Children who receive verbal abuse tend to believe that they are receiving this berating because they have done something wrong.
Some parents sometimes behave in irrational ways that are confusing and troubling to their children. Most children can withstand their parents’ isolated mistakes and lapses of good judgment. But repeated mistakes can be damaging, especially when they become a pattern of behavior.
Emotional abuse happens when yelling and anger go too far or when parents constantly criticize, threaten, or dismiss kids or teens until their self-esteem and feelings of self-worth are damaged. It leaves scars you don’t see. The pain and long-term effects of emotional abuse on children are real and is most felt as the child grows older and is at risk of repeating the same abuse that was learned.
Thus, emotional and psychological abuse can have a serious impact on our kids’ future and adulthood.
Emotional and psychological abuse can hurt and cause damage just as physical abuse does. But what’s important is that we are able to protect our kids from experiencing these abuses over and over by choosing to raise them singlehandedly.